Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas to everyone!!

A day off feels awfully good. Haven't had much of a day off since starting at Myer.
Myer stocktake sale tomorrow though. Gonna be hectic but fingers crossed I pick some good bargains as well!!!

Aim...release..Bullseye!!!

I speak for myself here, my life is literally over run by meeting targets, quotas, goals and living within limits...time limits, internet download limits, calories (so, ok I'm dieting now)....and I've just realised how much time I spend everydat just running these calculations through my head.

What's currently is in my head, is the question: How much more do I need to work to save up enough for UK? And it's just frustrating sometimes that you can't stop thinking about it. You tell yourself not to, but it always just somehow swims back into your mind.

What can you do? I thought of two options.

1) Bloody write it down and say that's it. Stop thinking about it. Or,
2) Not live with these limits or targets at all. And just go with the flow. Live life as it is. ( I actually want to do that, but realistically it'll never work out. I'm just so tired, that's all.)

December craze

December has finally arrived and I'm a month closer to leaving.
Not exactly too excited though because I've been plagued by the constant worrying of my visa, air ticket and accomodation.

My visa is not due back until the 23rd Dec, and with fingers crossed, I'm hoping that there's nothing wrong so I don't have to resend it and wait another 30 working days. OMG, it better be nothing wrong with it or I'm going to go in a panic attack. The reason is because mum is not intending to do anything with my air tickets until I've received it. So literally everything may be delayed because of it.

I still yet to receive my accomodation notification. So still no idea when exactly I will get to Manchester. Sigh...really dislike these uncertainty.

It's actually quite funny, but Herman recently learnt the real rules to Monopoly. So the past few days we've been playing Monopoly, the acutal board game and on the computer. Even mum has been part of the craze.

61 hours to go at Myer.

The finish line

The Saturday that I've been looking forward so much has come and passed.
It was my final speech and drama exam. My program was *shrugz* alright I guess, the examiner...a pretty friendly guy who had the fidgeties during my exam, my preparation...mediocre and the results...A+. I suppose finishing it off with a HD is always good...reminds me of all the benefits of this whole journey.

I've definitely grown and changed alot from the lessons with Mrs Burgess, for one...I am definitely more confident when it comes to interviews and speaking out aloud. In most cases, I can pull off an impromptu speech or presentation if need be.

For some reason, I feel that I still have so much more to improve in.
I still stumble and mumble some times and nerves gets to me when I least want it to.
But it's time to let go of the insecurity and be confident. Practice makes perfect is so cliche but so true. Making an effort and reminding myself everyday does make a difference. I know all this...I just need to remember to do it and stop being a lazy bum. That's all.

Update

Sent in VISA application to Canberra. Takes 30 working days to process. Unbelievable, no wonder nothing gets done down there. So glad, I've got it out of the way nice and early.

More information from MBS will be received in December. So I guess, just waiting for December to come. Really want to know where I'll be staying. I checked the college accomodations again yesterday and most of them are single rooms. Oh, I thought I was gonna share with someone. O well, I guess I can speak to mum n chamii through Skype without disruption.

I have completed all my Myer training. Woot woot. Yesh, will finally get paid for all those hours. Starting on the 30th Nov n wait for it, I'm gonna be a hamper girl. Arghhhh *scream* hahahaha. Yeh, I was pretty stunned when I got told. The lady was, 'Sharon, you are books...no, toys...no, christmas trimmings...no, christmas food.' Lol, she really knew how to get my hopes up. =p

Really want to get another job though. I really need to earn quite a bit this holidays. Gah, the exchange rate went down AGAIN. Not happy not happy.

Longing

As I walk around the house, I'm starting to pick up things or see things that I'll miss when I'm away in UK. They're just trivial lil things but I know I'll be longing for them within a month once I'm away.

My favourite noodle soup, made by mummy. I'll be craving for this for sure. Gosh, I absolutely looooove this. Mummy specially made this for me during the exams because I was so sick of A1 bbq pork and chicken. =D Might ask her today to make it.


Also, the comfy lounge and dining table and chairs, that's not technically ours. Spent most of my time studying there.

Congratulations and Apologies.

Chrissy boy and Helen are engaged!!
Congratulations to both of them.
Absolutely LOVED the ring, Tiffany 1.2caret diamond ring. Absolutely grogeous and dazzling.

Went over to Yee Mah's place for an afternoon tea with the girls to chat about their BLCU trip. So jealous, just talking about it makes me wanna go again. Sad, I don't have the cash for it or it would have been awesome. Seeing lao shi and Rita again n probably Masa as well, if he hasn't left already. Missing my buddy.

But anyway, celebrated the engagement at the restaurant. The number of lil Ha cousins remind me of when I was young. Back then we would ask 'So, how's highschool?' or 'Who's gonna get a girlfriend/boyfriend first?' Now, it's who's 'Going to get married next?'

Gosh, time flies. And it really scares me how much has changed. I don't like thinking about it, so I'm gonna just keep on moving. Keep on following the plans I've set and get closer to the goals I've set. One day, where these sorta issues smack into my face, then I'll deal with it.

I know you wouldn't want to hear this but I wanted to apologise.
If you think you are the one at fault, then you are wrong. I'm equally at fault.

After our talk I wondered, am I being selfish when I focus so much on myself. I seem to hurt alot of people and neglect those that I care for. I never intended it. But it's so hard to balance so much and there is never enough time. That's why I can't afford any time for you or anyone else.

Not until, I'm comfortable to do so, I'm not going to let anyone into my life.

Values

Under two totally unrelated circumstances, I was asked what my values were.
Taking a step back and I asked myself instead, 'Does value shape who I am' or rather 'Do I chose my value based on who I am'. Maybe it's all one continuous cycle that changes and never ends.

To the first person that asked me, I said ' I value success and my achievements.'
To the other person, I said 'I value my studies/career, the time I get to spend with my family and friends, and the snippet of moments where I can sit back and reflect (Hermz calls it daydreaming).'

Honestly, I am glad I was asked this question. I now know where I devote my time and life to, and how important it is to me.

MBS Acceptance

My documents have been received by MBS and I'm going to receive my acceptance letter soon.
So, I can start looking at getting my VISA soon but after exams.
Finishing on the 6th. Woot woot.
So sick of exams already. Can't wait till holidays.

Gotta love 'The Apprentice UK'.

Zoning

I am officially and completely entered the state of zoning OUT.
Utterly annoyed at myself because I can't zone back IN.

Exams starting on Wednesday. Can't wait till this all f***ing finished.

Current Progress

Applications have been handed in and sent. Finally, I know.

Exams are in a few weeks time. Yet to be tackled but sure that it'll be pounded to pulp when I'm done with it.

Flights have been checked and reserved. Flying out on the 19th at night, therefore reaching Hong Kong on the morning of the 20th. Stop over to spend Chinese New Year with dear cousins and then jetting off to LONDON on the night of 28th. However, absolutely can't believe that fuel surcharges and taxes are $1,040 AUD. Absolutely confounded.
To put that into perspective, my actual flight ticket is $1,610.
What can you do?

Myer casual Christmas job is secured. Working in general merchandises...have no idea what that is...but none the less, is planning to work the arse off to save up for UK.

Been slightly upset about being jibbed at uni, so currently surviving on comfort food. Will eventually brighten up. Till then, rocky road biscuits!!

Karma, Fate, luck? What is it?

Due to recent incidents, I've started to wonder whether luck is real. Well, is it?
We all seem to refer to it but do we really believe in it? Or is it just a coincidence that you're experiencing an one off bad week?

For some reason, I felt that Hermz's been having a pretty rough year. Yes, I said year.
I distinctively remember mum telling me that Hermz and her will experience some obstacles this year, when she was watching some fortune telling/animal horoscope chinese show.
After this week, I'm starting to actually believe in it. I know, it's ridiculous, but hear me out.

For the most of this year, Mum has been sick on and off, with headaches, cramps, back pains, the flu etc etc. But it's not like this year has been crazily cold or the flu was an epidemic. Yet, at the most randomness times, mum will fall ill.

Hermz, on the other hand, has been consistently refused internship jobs. I have friends that are in their penultimate years getting interviews and acceptances in major investment banks and companies. Whilst Hermz is sitting dunce. Not trying to fuel his ego, but I would've thought he would have the marks and the qualities these companies would look for. Then there's the Iphone incident where they are insisting he owes 3G network $13, 000 for the download usage. What a load of bs is that ey?!? For heaven's sakes....
Everything's settled now but you still wonder whether it was what mum said early this year.

So, now I'm really worried. Will I have bad luck next year when I'm overseas? Currently, I'm already getting a very negative vibe from the current economy, with the exchange rate slumping to L0.388/AUD. I've lost more than 20% in monetary value, and don't think it's gonna stop falling anytime soon either.

I don't want to believe in luck but it's starting to get me worried especially in the light of what's been happening to Hermz.

My poor sounding board

So I spent my whole entire 1 hour break complaining and worrying over my exams and exchange. The fact that I feel so much better, I feel sorry for my sounding board, who had to sit through the whole ordeal. I've actually got a list written out of what I must do for the next few weeks now. =D Full steam ahead!!

Therefore, thanks heaps SB (he who doesn't want to be named)!!! Sorry, I know I'm a massive whinger!!!

Current plans: I might be leaving in NOVEMBER!! =0

Back from Melbourne!!

I have to say, Melbourne was Awesome!!!
Probably because last year was such a disappointment in Gold Coast.
Man, I'm already missing it. Especially Cafe Grecco, they have the best cakes there!

Since coming back, it has dawned on me that I'm gonna be off to Manchester in a 3 months time. 3 MONTHS TIME!!! I haven't even sent in my exchange forms or done my visa yet. Unbelievable. I haven't even booked my flight.

Manchester is bound to be crazy, but I'm starting to feel slightly dubious. I'm actually feeling quite insecure, being away from mum n dad n all. >.<